Irreverent Skeptics: First World Problems

  • KnowYourMeme.com has the perfect description of FWP: “First World Problems, also known as “White Whine”, are frustrations and complaints that are only experienced by privileged individuals in wealthy countries. It is typically used as a tongue-in-cheek comedic device to make light of trivial inconveniences.”

  • Notable: White Girl Problems. Which are problems generally only experienced by privileged white adolescent girls.

  • I DON’T KNOW IF I HAVE MUCH TO CONTRIBUTE HERE #FIRSTWORLDPROBLEMS – McElroy

 

Common First World Problems

  1. Earbuds tangled in your pocket

  2. In the summer when it’s sweltering hot outside, but the movie theater/store/restaurant/house is so cold you have to wear extra clothes.

  3. Gaming and your wireless controller’s batteries die, then you have to get up to retrieve replacement batteries.

  4. My air conditioned/heated kind of luxurious car doesn’t have an audio port or usb connector for the stereo.

  5. The ATM only gave me 20s and I wanted smaller bills.

  6. The sun glares on the screen of your phone, tablet, or laptop outside when you’re trying to browse reddit.

  7. The stores in your city stopped carrying your favorite flavor of Coke Zero (or other drink)

  8. The aforementioned missing coke zero flavor is available/still sold at other stores, in other states.

  9. Starbucks doesn’t have a shortened name for your favorite 9-word long coffee concoction. (This contributes to inconsistent product and wasted $, as baristas don’t have a uniform /established method for mixing the aforementioned beverage)

  10. You start watching back episodes of a new series and now you have to wait until next week for the new episode!

  11. Having more clothes than you have hangers or room for in your closet.

  12. Having so much food in your refrigerator/freezer/pantry that it’s difficult to find what you’re looking for.

  13. Hulu plus/Netflix has an ever shifting catalog, a title will be available one week, then gone the next.

  14. The cable company cock blocks the amount of streaming you can do w Netflix and Hulu. Also the features are basically unavailable during streaming such that if you need to fast forward or pause a show, you may be unable to get it restarted.

  15. The cable and internet shit the bed, and when you call to get info about affected areas and projected repair time frames, the bit recommends you visit comcast.com!

  16. Even though I have a Droid and many google apps/ features, HANGOUTS won’t work on my phone. This is the case even when it’s fully charged, has full bars, and is sitting motionless near the wifi station.

  17. The gps app I used to have would lose its signal, but didn’t make a noise, or otherwise indicate loss of connection. I drove many miles out of the way due to this design flaw.

  18. My Galaxy s 3 won’t view my apple email account! That’s bullshit. I’ve made workarounds,but shouldn’t have to.

 

Lightning News Round (News stories read by Mike B?)

Man first to kill a Bigfoot. – previous carcass admitted hoax and now he’s trying to redeem himself.

Scientists hatch 700 year-old eggs.

Cops spring for a cab for a man who walked 30 miles to court.

Proposed law in OK to prevent students being punished for gun-shaped pastry

Jon’s FWP Rant: Why the Technology I Love, FUCKING SUCKS!!

  • Xbox

  • Smartphone

  • Internet

  • Computer

  • Software

  • GPS

 

WUT??!!

Links and Attributions

Thanks to MC Frontalot for use of the song First World Problem. Find all of his works here.

Many thanks to Tom and Cecil from Cognitive Dissonance for the audio clips as well as inspiration for the G+ community and now, the podcast.

Send feedback to: feedback@irreverentskeptics.com

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